But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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