I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
