i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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