I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
