He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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