I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
