Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
