I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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