so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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