you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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