Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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