I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
