I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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