I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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