i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
