i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
