so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
