I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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