No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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