I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
