it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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