haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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