there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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