I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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