this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.