i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild