You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing