There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home