Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.