so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.