I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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