these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
