who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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