I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
