maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
