You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
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I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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