Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
