Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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