you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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