I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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