Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
