Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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