Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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