super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
