sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
