Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
