I think scott just propositioned me for sex
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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