mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
