It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
