these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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