At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
