My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Text me some of your sweat
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
