Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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