Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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