we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
