hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
