i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
