ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
