The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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