do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
