it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she pinky promised me she was 18
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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