Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Who died my cat blue again?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
