Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
