a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize