Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
