Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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