I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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