those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
